Now, I’ve just been called lazy. By numerous people. Certainly not naming any names, *pointedly stares right at YOU.* Yes you, back there, laughing wildly with all of the other incredibly talented people, none the wiser to my deathly glare.
But it’s just ‘how I roll’, so to speak. I have never done it any other way. Even when I try my damnedest to plan and set out a nice little story of events, my mind seems to immediately disregard any notion of order and happily gallivant on its own thread of meaningless prattle. I remember well, sitting obediently in my English Lit. classes with a bunch of eager and intelligent brains whizzing and popping at words like ‘brainstorm’ or ‘spider-diagram’.
I just sat there, like the numpty I am, and carried on writing poetry or gaze into the middle distance pretending I was running across fields with Mr Darcy. Homework would be set to write a prolific set of prose to engage an examiner due in the following week. Well, Tuesday next I would hear the boffin’s chatter before the lesson; “I have rewritten this 4 times!”, “Oh I brought in a draft to Ms ‘So n So’ last week’’ and “My spider diagram really helped me write my plan, which then really helped me write the introduction paragraph, that, actually, if you look goes on for four pages…”
I implore you to see that I always did have the best intentions at heart. I’d get home the evening the work was set, and genuinely *try* to make some sort of spider diagram. Which would look less like a diagram, more like a spider had fallen in ink and proceeded to waltz across the page, breaking into a bit of street dance mid-way. My brain just couldn’t handle, what it saw as, the deathly cage intent upon honing it into a controllable being. It just wasn’t having it. That’s not my fault is it?!
So every Tuesday, I’d sit patiently, head in hands, with an essay I had written at 11o’clock the previous night hiding feebly in my rucksack waiting to be tormented and scribbled upon by an angry English teacher.
How I managed to get A’s and B’s is beyond me. There is method in the madness.