Oof. I feel totally puffed out.. As though my life’s occupation is one of those old fashioned fire bellow things. Huffing merrily away at some poor pigs wooden house, willing it to blow over, even though I’m not even the wolf. I’m just filling in for him because he’s off sick for a while from eating too many Grannies. I couldn’t care less if the damn thing fell over, I actually oppose doing it, I have to however. C’est la.. and all of that.
Why can’t I just be a well established, fabulous actress already? With everything set and sorted within myself? Not doing something that seriously doesn’t interest me in a chilly office for The Man? Like, now please? No..? Ok, I’ll leave that for now.
This is what I did for 6 hours the other day. At ‘work’. On paint. I actually feel this is my biggest achievement to date, although I haven’t actually finished it yet. I made my mother and uncle sit through an extensive tutorial on the workings of ‘My House’ and how I drew each and every bit. I’d like to do a little more on the conservatory and obviously the upper bedroom. My colleague had the extremely imaginative idea of drawing ‘two people having sex in the window..ennit’. Needless to say, he is male. Also, the balcony needs a bit of work, along with some exciting happenings going on in the garden. My favourite parts are the stairs and the television with the DVD’s on the side. Genius if I do say so myself.
”The time has come,” the walrus said,
“To talk of other things
Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax
Of cabagges and kings.”
Well, maybe not cabbages.. and certainly not ceiling wax! GoGo Festival it is then;
Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity of popping off to Europe’s biggest women’s festival down in Kent. It’s mainly aimed at the Lady Lovers of this world, whether lesbian, bi-sexual, curious, non-gender and whoever else deems themselves eligible for such a festival. It was wet and muddy for the most part, then I got a ruddy chest infection type majog on the Saturday which really put a downer on things. However, it was quite an experience to be in one place along with a load of Lady Lovers also in that one place, all together, like a massive vagina taking over Kent.
My beautiful ladies, Red N Pink were there on the Saturday strutting their complete stick covered epic on the main stage. Their stage presence is incredibly amazing, they’re almost theatrical in both music and wonderful flouncing around. If you haven’t, check these ‘punk soul bitches’ out: @RedNPinkmusic and on Myspace yo’! The rest of that day wasn’t half as brilliant as those two, seeing as UhHuhHer had to cancel last minute! Rubbish! (One half of them is Leisha Hailey, who you may know as ‘Alice Piezecky’ on The L Word.) Though I thoroughly enjoyed myself by getting absolutely rat-arsed with my mother and Godmother by the bar in the pouring rain and trying to drag my little sister away from all the mental molesting Lesbians. Yes, we’re a very open family.
Sunday far exceeded day 1 for entertainment and excited staring at gorgeous women. Started my hungover day off with a 3 hour bout of hilarious comediennes doing serious damaged to my already fucked throat. First time I had heard of a madam Jen Brister, one of the most side splittingly funny women I have witnessed in a long time! Along with the likes of Suzy Ruffle (up and coming must see) and of course the fabulous Zoe Lyons. My afternoon then went from great to fucking awesome (‘not like a hotdog, like a BILLION hotdogs’). A band called Never the Bride smashed up the stage with their great, fat pile of crazy women-vibes! I then watched the awe-inspiring, mouth watering, talented and generally sexy specimen of humanity that is Heather Peace. Seeing her for the first time has now made me an avid fan and I would indeed recommend seeing her play live. Oh, AND watch her in Lip Service (second series coming soon!) because she play a cop, which is pretty hot. Anyway, a woman with a hearty voice also played with Heather, called Horse – Have a listen to their song ‘Beechwood Avenue’ on that YouTube thing. It’s nice. And stuff.
Altogether, it was a pretty vunderbra weekend. Even if I didn’t get any ‘poontang’ or whatever these youngsters call it these days.. Eeek! Oh, oh! To counter-balance that unfortunate business, I did managed to get myself into Diva Magazine in the style section because I apparently look so goddamn astonishing. Model contract here I come!